Valentine's Day 2018

To think, my life, believe it or not has gotten worse. You guys know about what's been happening with me the last two months. But that is just the tip of the iceberg. About 3 1/2 years ago, I wrote in the blog about "Will Life Ever Break for Me?" which I posted below. And somehow it's gotten worse since then.

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 17, 2014

Will my life ever break for me??

This is a question I ask constantly. I'm in a terrible rut and have been for seemingly ages. I mean I just cant find a way to be happy or feel good about myself. I mean its been a tough life, a tough go of it for years now. As you may or may not know, my grandparents started to take ill in the year 2000. My grandmother, who was 80 at the time had stomach cancer surgery. I think the surgery was only to be for a couple of hours but literally took all day. In 2001, in fact it was the first week college football was being played after 9/11, my grandfather collasped at the Yale/Cornell game. So, in essence,  my plate was full helping taking care of them. Taking care of my grandmother who made out of surgery and my grandfather who had quadrouple bypass surgery is a lot to take but I kept going.

In 2003, my grandmother had a case of Yellow Jaudice. In fact she was rushed to the hospital the day we toppled Saddam's statue in Iraq.  My grandfather died in 2006 and my grandmother died in 2010. Throughout those 10 years,  my life wasnt my own. You know I tried to do everything for them. I got there mail, there medication, helped them when they had doctor's appointments, threw there garbage out, went grocery shopping with them and lots more. I did what I had to do.

Now we fast forward to my grandmother's funeral in 2010, where I see my father. Up until that day, I hadnt seen my father in over 10 years. I dont know what happened but it was like he vanished off the face of the earth. There are reasons how it started but I wont get into that right now. Well, anyway, he shows up. Here I'm thinking that I'm going to have some sort of relationship with the guy and after about a year(?) of having communication with my mother and myself, he just disowns me again. I mean, in some circles, I guess you would call him a "deadbeat dad."  I dont know what I did to deserve being treated like that but it is what it is. I've phoned many times but get no response. Sent cards and whatnot but still nothing. Its like he wants nothing to do with me and frankly from a financial standpoint, I need his help, so right now, pardon my french, but it really sucks.  So basically, its really my mother and me.

Now for some of you who know, my mother has to have hip surgery. She had to postpone it because she had to go back to work and doesnt get paid for sick time. Right now, like I mentioned, I have no job or money. I'm just very disgusted with the way my life turned out.  I didnt think it would be this bad. I'd like to know if there will ever be an end in sight? I mean its just one thing after another. You know the old saying "when it rains, it pours," yeah, by this time, I'm pretty much drowning. I dont have a social life, per say, as I understand people have lives and responsiblites of there own. Believe me, I understand that. You have no idea how much I understand that.   There are days where its harder than others. I mean all you do is work to pay bills. Thats not a life, thats existing.  I just hope my life gets better sooner than later.

Fast forward to now. You guys know about my mom. But, tomorrow, it might be worse. As, tomorrow is Valentine's Day. It's just another day for me.  Do you know that I've never had a Valentine's Day date. I've never had a New Year's Eve date. I've never had a date, period. Never had a first kiss. I don't think I'm a great catch or anything. I've never had a social life. I was always taking care of my family and I think lots of times I just didn't feel like going anywhere. Do you blame me? Your in a rut, for a month, 2 months, 6 months, a year etc. how can you be motivated to do anything?  Now, I haven't really thought about Valentine's Day for obvious reasons as I'm worrying about how to pay the bills.  I get along with Women. But when it comes to dating or going out, they could do a lot better.  Something I have to do once I get settled is find me a woman or women. :) 

It's just when you add up everything from my grandparents, to my mom to now being lonely, it's just very tough and very frustrating. I know I never thought of myself as an adonis or anything but I never thought of myself as ugly but sometimes I feel that way. Facebook has the "On this Day" notifications and almost everyone from today, Feb. 13, said the same thing. Me being alone.  I think what really hurts sometimes is that I don't think a Woman has ever been interested in me.  As a friend? Yes. But as anything else? No. I mean being dateless for Valentine's Day hasn't really bothered me this year. How can it? What I've been thinking about has taken up all my  time. But, if you ask me if it bothers me, I will say yes. And, I appreciate it all the support I've received the past couple of months. And I appreciate the invites to hang out. And once all this over, we will hang out.  I just don't want to be a third wheel or a fifth wheel.  There also comes a time where its great to have friends but it would be nice to at least try to have a girlfriend. 

I guess the point of this  blog was to just say that I've been through a lot of stuff. Realizing now, that not only helping my grandparents and my mom then them passing away  and now this.  So, I ask the original question now just like I did in 2014. "Will Life Ever Break for Me?"

The Name Of This Blog Says It All!!!

I want to say that I'm very frustrated, nervous, sad, angry and overwhelmed. I really don't need this. As you know my mother died. I'm just trying to get by day by day. I mean I'm in that house that my grandmother and my mom were in and now there gone. I'm trying and trying doing the best I can. I spent The Holidays alone. Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Year's Eve, New Year's Day and my personal Holiday, The Super Bowl, by myself. You know why I was alone as I was waiting for my father to call and then I called him but it was hit or miss. Well, anyway, I guess the point of this blog is to just vent.

I will watch my swearing but I am mad. I have to say the treatment I have received from "Services" to help me is a disgrace. Let's look at some examples. My mom wasn't dead 24 hrs. before The Pension was cut off. Actually, I did get her Pension for the following month but it was half than what she usually got. Now, like I have mentioned before, I was unemployed. I was taking care of my mom. Cooking meals, paying bills, going grocery shopping, helping her get up off the couch etc. All the things that the wonderful nurses do in Hospice, in The Hospital and in Rehab, I did that by myself for 6 years!!! Not, 6 days!!! Not 6 weeks!!! 6 years!!! Plus, the fact that, and I kid you not, from mid 1998 to she went until The Hospital on July 21 of last year, my mom and I were in the same roof EVERY NIGHT. In other words, whether it was on vacation, at my grandparents house, my grandparents townhouse or my home, every night under the same roof. She didn't go on vacation without me and vice versa, I didn't move into a dorm etc. Well, anyway, my mom was creamated. Why?  Because it cost an arm and a leg. THAT is a disgrace. Cementaries  are fleecing family members. Why? It's not bad enough to lose a family member? It's not bad enough having a Funeral, Wake and Calling Hours? That's not bad enough?

Then, what last week being called by Citizens Bank looking for My Mom and when I told her she died, they deactivate her Debit and ATM Cards. Forget, that she died. Forget, I need that money, you know to pay the bills.  I mean when I say that I'm her son and everything is in her name, you would think that I was a stranger.  It's a FREAKING disgrace!!! I keep hearing she should've put me on the account. When was I supposed to ask her? When she had tubes in her? When she could only eat through an IV? When she was so out of it after medication? When she had chemo? When she had Physical Therapy? You would think that some people thought we are on a vacation. 

Then, The Probate Court. You know I've been told so many Freaking things, maybe I should've done this earlier. But then I have to sign forms and whatnot and then hire a Lawyer with money I don't have. Now, with the exception of The EBT Card, every DAMN thing I have tried for has been a problem. Trying to get SAGA(Cash Assistance), Social Security, Social Security Income, etc. I mean trying to call 211, Social Services is a DISGRACE!! First, I didn't get all my paper work in on time. Why? Because I had questions and not one damn person could help you. And I'm not going to wait on hold for an hour. So, then, I scrimp and save to make copies of all the bills and send all the information and I was denied because I didn't get it in on time. So, then I call The Mortgage People and they don't tell me anything because I'm not on the account. I was, but not now. The Oil people were a little different. I told them my mom died and then they said you can't get anymore oil. So, I guess, if I freeze to death, you'll know why. 

Now, I'm trying to get The State ID Card. It cost 30 dollars which I don't have and get this PROOF of My Social Security Card. Well, I don't have a Social Security Card. Now, I have to get a Social Security Card. I mean hell, now I got to go to the local Social Security Office I believe, to fill out a Temporary Card. 

So, now, tomorrow is the big day. The Job Interview. I just hope I get it. But you know, in a way, even if I don't as mad as I'll be, at least they  thought of me. NOTHING is more demoralizing than trying to find a job, applying for a job and then you don't hear from them. I hope like hell my life changes. It's bad enough that I'm alone on Valentine's Day, My Birthday, New Year's Eve etc. But at least I had my mom. Now, I don't even have that. Forget a Driver's License. Who has money for that? 

So basically, in essence, I think everything stinks!! You know when you lose a parent or a friend, life shouldn't get ANY harder than it already is. I mean what happened to compassion? You know the people that have screwed me and not helped me, they are going to lose somebody and then they'll be in my position. Then, you know what? Let them live out in the freaking street. Better them than me, right?  The bottom line is that some of those same people eat Lobster Bisque and Lobster and some people eat Tuna Fish and Top Ramen to stay afloat. Why is that fair? Not only that, but it takes forever to get things done. Who has the time for that? I mean I can't wait months for Social Services, DMV etc. to give me an answer and I need it now!!

Believe it or not, as I wrap this up, I'm going to somewhat quote The Andy Griffith Show. Barney Fife said "Sometimes, when it comes to sheriffin', sometimes you have to go less by the book and more by the heart." I think most people should think that way. 

Now, Thank You for reading my blog. I just really had to vent and get some stuff off my chest. Thank You to my friends on Facebook, The506.com, Sitcoms Online, Aging Care, The American Cancer Society  and Daytime Confidential for being there for me during this hard time for me. YOU GUYS make it easier for me. I also appreciate all the kind words and encouragement that you've given me. It really helps me. 

As far as helping me, just keep being there. Just keep encouraging me.If I need any of you,  I'll know where to turn. I am humbled by all the kind words. You know what's funny? How is it that losing my mom WOULDN'T be the worse thing that happened to me?

A Classic Sports Channel

Now, I know I should've updated The Blog but with taking care of my mom and then her in The Hospital and then her passing away, The Blog wasn't a priority. But now it is. I want to toss some ideas out there and get this thing going but first, I want to blog about something that I think is important. I got this idea for this post because 10 years I mentioned it on Facebook and my opinion still holds up today. Plus, I'm trying to see if This Blog can make money by using Google AdSense and right now I need all the money I can get. That's another story. But here is The Post from Jan. 2008.

Their should be a network for classic games. I know you have NBAtv, Nhl Network, NFL Network and cough, ESPN Classic among others. My point is their should be a network that shows games in their entireity. I mean when you get a classic game you have plays not shown and edited down. No pregame or postgame or halftime. No intros. on some of the games. If you look at NFL Network-it's a joke. Check their schedule for the next 3 days. It's a joke. Oh yeah, the next 3 days because that's how far their schedule is online. In other words, they have up until Jan. 6. I would like to see the old days-Scott, Summerall, Madden, Gowdy, Scully etc. In one of my posts that I did, somebody responded and said that the NFL has 10,000 games but where are they? What do think? Do you think I'm making a mountain out of a molehill? I mean, I'm only 25 yrs. old so I missed some of the legendary announcers. Should I be penalized for that? If I had money and people who agreed with me I would start my own network. Do you think I'm nuts for saying their should be a network for classic games? What do you think?

Now, yes, The NFL has uploaded games on Youtube which is a miracle in itself but there's still a long way to go, imo. Classic Games SHOULD be on a channel. I find it interesting watching these old games. I'd rather watch that then some of today's programs. I think there should be a Classic Games Channel because I think there would be a big audience for it.  People like to remember and talk about the old days. I know I'm not the only one.

If you look at NFLNetwork, NHL Network, NBATV and MLBNetwork. Now, I can't speak for NHLN and NBATV because I don't watch NHL or NBA but this would pretain to NFLN and MLBN. Have you ever seen there lineup during there particular offseasons? To me, it's underwhelming.  A lot of talking heads. MLBN, I watch a lot. But if your in the offseason like they are right now, how many more times can you talk about Hot Stove? How many times can you talk about where Eric Hosmer or Jay Bruce is going to go?

Same for NFLN. They got The NFL Draft which I understand is huge but The Combine? Who cares? Even if you do care, is it necessary to show The Combine live all day and then have it replayed at night? I just think The Draft is more important. NFL Total Access, Good Morning Football etc. is pretty much the same show. Can you watch those two shows all day?
I always felt like with NFLN, ANYTHING pertaining to The NFL is shown but I think it's more about "hey, we need to fill programming" then about whatever they are going to show. Same goes with MLBN. I just think with both networks get a little more variety would help. 

Some of my favorite Super Bowl Commercials

With the Super Bowl coming up, one thing that the fans and even non fans enjoy are the commercials. I enjoy the commercials and for a 30 second spot costs 5 million dollars. So, in no particular order, some of my favorite Super Bowl Commercials:

A classic ad. It's nice that these two "rivals" can have a friendly feud. Also, I do think some people drink both Pepsi and Coke. Nice, light hearted ad.

The following year the same Coke guy tries a Pepsi and gets caught. Great ad and the music that's playing just fits. 20 years later and its great.

LOVE  THE BUD BOWL!!! Just very innovative. I wish the Bud Bowl was still around today. I think it's better than a lot of the ads that you see today. I just thought there were a lot of creative spots. Also all the colorful nicknames that were part of the game.

The one that really started it all. This ad really started how we view Super Bowl ads. That reason is because when this ad aired during Super Bowl 18, I think the results of the ad is why the Super Bowl ads have become so popular. It aired only once, but its lasting impression has lasted a lifetime.

These are only a few of my favorites. What are some of yours?

MTV's The Real World, Really??

Forgive me. I came into this late in the game. Back in 1992, MTV's The Real World broke ground. It was television's first reality show. Now, granted, if anybody know some of the back story and the history, the show got off to a sluggish start. I mean who wants to watch a show that have people just talking?? Well, thanks to the grossness of Season 2 San Francisco member, Puck and the courage of Pedro battling HIV,  it seemed like The Real World turned a corner. Now, over the years, despite the sexual content and the hookups, The Real World did give you a first look at all different issues that people were dealing with. Being in the Military, being Gay, Politics, Religion, AIDS, Racism etc.



But now I think the Real World has jumped the shark or maybe it already did. Now, based on this article from mtv.com: http://www.mtv.com/news/2724109/real-world-go-big-or-go-home-twist/?xrs=_s.tw_main  it seems like they are adding a different twist. It seems like they are combining The Real World with Road Rules as far as doing different stunts. If they cant complete each stunt, they are eliminated and somebody else takes there place. Frankly, I dont think this is needed. You already have The Challenge why change The Real World.



Now I must say for years, I railed on The Real World and hated it. I always felt like what was shown on TV wasnt real as opposed to somebody's real life. I just felt like the hookups and living in a nice area and drinking and partying and  having all the pretty people wasnt neccesarily "The Real World." Staying home, paying the mortgage, paying the bills etc. is what I thought of. Nevertheless, being bored one night, I watched The Real World, San Diego, want to say it was in 2004.  Then I watched it again, and again and again. And you know it wasnt a bad show.




Over the past few years, I havent watched. The Explosions and The Skeletons seasons was uncessary. I mean why tweak something that has worked for years? Ok, will The Real World be water cooler talk like it was 20 years ago? Probably not. But what show is? Look at American Idol. They are limping home. Look at Survivor. Still a hit but not the mega hit it was 15 years ago. I dont think a show like The Real World needs tinkering. I think its find the way it is. And besides, why tinker a show called "THE REAL WORLD?"" I mean if thats the case, wouldnt we all want to tinker our real world's??

Whats a bargain??

Now, I had started this "Whats a bargain?" back in July 2013. I would tell you what I thought were good deals at different stores for the week. Well, when the computer shut down later in the month, there was no way I could do this. I needed more time to do this and I couldnt because I was checking other websites and whatnot because I only had x amount of time because I was at the library. Now with the tablet, I'm able to have more time for different things like this.



Make sure you check your ads, because this is just one man's opinion.



Rite Aid

Purex, 43.5 to 50 oz.- $1.97
Haribo Candies-Buy 1, get 1 free
Baking Soda-.99
 Comet Cleanser-.99
 Gain, 9 oz.- .99

Also, I believe they still have some  Christmas stuff out. I think its between 50-75% off.




Walgreens

Arm and Hammer Detergent-Buy 1, Get 1 free.
Chicken of the Sea Tuna with Coupon, - .69
Gummy Candy- .99
Paper Plates, 64pk., Napkins, 80pk.-.99 with Coupon
Nice Facial Tissues-76 to 240  sheets- .99
Mitchum Deodorant-1.99(1.00 off coupon in Sunday's paper)
Progresso Soup-2 for 2.00(.50 off coupon in Sunday's paper)
Dawn Dish Liquid, 9 oz., .74(.25 off coupon in Sunday's paper)
Toilet Paper or Paper Towels-10 for 5.00 or .69 each






CVS

Bumble Bee Tuna Fish-.88
Pepsi-.99 (.24 instant coupon)
Special K.-3 for 8.00(3.00 extra bucks when you buy 3)
Chex Mix and/or Pringles- 2 for 3.00
Scott Bath Tissue-3 for 3.00(1.00 instant coupon)
Total Home Facial Tissue-70 to 160 count.-.99
Dawn-9 oz.- .99